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conversations.
Monday. 5.10.10 9:58 am
these are conversations that i have had with customers. the lines in italics are what i wish i could say to them, but would probably get fired for.

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"yes, i would like you to check the balance on my account."
"okay, sure, do you have the account number?"
"oh? um hold on..."
"oh, you don't have your account number?"
"no, i don't have it."
"well why the fuck are you calling your bank asking for your balance then?"

-----

"hi, what can i do for you?"
"yeah, i have a problem with my account."
"okay, what is the problem?"
"there are some charges on here and i don't know where they are from. and you charged me overdraft fees."
"okay, let me take a look... okay, umm these charges are from a company called 'extenze'."
(if you don't know what extenze is, google it.)
"oh, well, okay. i still want my fees back. you shouldn't charge me $31 every time i overdraw my account."
"well, did you authorize these charges?"
"yes, i did. but if you don't give me these fees back i'm going to close my account."
"geeze, sir. with having such small genitalia you have awfully big balls to say such a thing."

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"what bank is this?"
"[bank]"
"did this used to be [old name of bank]?"
"yes, it did."
"well what happened to [old name of bank]?"
"we changed six years ago."
"well i don't like [bank], i liked [old name of bank] better."
"fuck you."

"thank you for calling [bank], this is scott, how can i help you?"
"hi how are you?"
"...fine. yourself?"
"good i need to speak to [boss]."
"i'm sorry, he's on the phone, did you want his voicemail?"
"no, i really need to speak to [boss]."
"...okay, well, he's on the phone right now. do you want to hold?"
"uhhhh..."
"well, what the fuck else do you want to do? should i scream his name until he hangs up the phone and answers your call? would you like me to come pick you up, bring you here so you can personally talk to him? should i go into his office, and simply hang up the phone for him? i realize that you think you are the most important client that our bank has, but i really don't give a shit if you are the company's president."
9 Comments.


Extenze Guy is a total idiot, hahaha.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-10 10:53:30

My personal favorite is the second to the last one. haha
» SporadicFunk on 2010-05-10 11:14:50

People are ridiculous. I'm so sorry this is your job. :P
» Illicit on 2010-05-10 02:14:45

I would like to know what you said to the small-balled guy.
» middaymoon on 2010-05-10 02:51:48

This basically sums up what I've been wondering for the past few years: why are there stupid fucking people in the world
» The-Muffin-Man on 2010-05-10 03:40:53

haha. i guess u love ur job very much. =)

RYC: even though the whole world become vegetarian ... the co2 level is gonna be the same because the damages are too great to be fixed. and only certain trees can clean the air efficiently.. so basically the whole world is pretty screwed if u believe in saving mother nature.
» renaye on 2010-05-11 12:54:28

Thank you for the much needed Lol.
» lyndeep on 2010-05-11 01:12:40

I'm moving back to the West Coast. Once I'm home I'll look into other colleges, but I'm pretty sure I'll be going somewhere in California, Hawaii, or maybe even Oregon. We'll see.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-11 02:46:03

i love subtext conversations. =D
» Silver-dot- on 2010-05-12 01:43:10

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