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the gaston thesis (edit)
Wednesday. 3.21.07 12:33 am
if you're looking for some useful information, then i'm afraid you have come to the wrong place.

what i've* compiled here is an ellaborate thesis on gaston from disney's "beauty and the beast." i hope you enjoy it.

----------

THE GASTON THESIS

“When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. Now that I’ve grown I eat five dozen eggs so I’m roughly the size of a barge!”
-Gaston

Gaston is a lad from the time he eats whole foods until 20, when he is no longer a teen.
20 years – 3 years = 17 elapsed years

4 dozen * 12 eggs (1 dozen) = 48 eggs per day
48 * 364.25 (days per year) = 17484 per year
17484 * 17 years = 297228 eggs in 17 years

Let us assume Gaston is 30 years old. He now eats five dozen eggs every morning.

30 years – 20 years = 10 elapsed years

5 dozen * 12 eggs (1 dozen) = 60 eggs per day
60 * 364.25 (days per year) = 21855 per year
21855 * 10 years = 218550 eggs in 10 years

297228 eggs + 218550 eggs = 515778 eggs in 27 years

Gaston has eaten roughly 515778 eggs by the time he is thirty. Let us assume one dozen eggs cost about 2 dollars.

515778 / 12 = 42981.5 dozen eggs
42981.5 * 2 = 85963 dollars

Gaston has spent approximately $85963.00 on eggs alone in his lifespan.


The linear equation for the amount of eggs Gaston eats after he is 30 years old is:
y = 515778 + 21855x
x = years
y = number of eggs

To find when Gaston reaches one million eggs:
515778 + 21855x = 1000000
21855x = 1000000 – 515778
x = (1000000 – 515778) / 21855
x = 22.156 (approximately)
To make up for the first 30 years, 30 must be added to x.
x + 30 = 52.156

When Gaston reaches fifty three years old, he has consumed at least one million eggs.

----------

believe it.

cheers,
sank

*mike (rip-tie-prophecy) contributed.
Recommended by 11 Members
LostSoul13 Rip-Tide-Prophecy nickalinkos little-b xXxshegzxXx PureRidiculous GooseGirl Morpheus Noacat Zanzibar catatonicloki
15 Comments.


I love it!
I thought I was the only one who did these types of things! This is just great! I am crying it is so beautiful!
» stlcardsgal86 on 2007-03-21 12:41:43

haha, this is interesting
» LostSoul13 on 2007-03-21 12:51:20

Lol! I've never liked that guy.. But one thing I know is that his muscles are still useless.
» Nuttz on 2007-03-21 12:59:04

A nitpick, I know, but a year is 365.24 days, which would make the linear equation:

y = 517179.84 + 21914.4x

and thus, his 1000000th egg would be consumed by 12 days after his 52nd birthday.

What's REALLY disgusting, when you think about it, is that each egg averages 76 Calories hard-boiled (92 Calories fried!), so if he eats 5 dozen hard-boiled eggs a day, he is consuming 4560 Calories right there. And each egg yolk contains a little more than 200 mg of cholesterol (2/3 of the recommended daily allowance), so he consumes 12000 mg of cholesterol daily from eggs alone, coming out to 40x (!!!) his recommended daily cholesterol intake.
» ranor on 2007-03-21 01:30:49

haha
you ass...how dare you not include my name on this brilliant thesis!? hell will be paid...
» Rip-Tide-Prophecy on 2007-03-21 08:46:52

niiice. you guys have way too much time on your hands. but it's still awesome...i like it atleast.
» nickalinkos on 2007-03-22 11:32:24

haha, wow.
why in the world would someone write something like this?

now I want some eggs.
though I don't especially care for them that much.


=P
» invisible on 2007-03-24 10:23:45

I have a headache after reading that post. Too many numbers! :D I've always imagined Gaston dying of salmonella poisoning from raw eggs.
» little-b on 2007-03-26 12:49:54

haha i love it. only you and mike would think of this!
» GooseGirl on 2007-03-26 11:51:58

RE: Beauty and the Beast
...One more thing to keep me up at night. ^_~
» Noacat on 2007-03-29 09:22:54

lol, awesome!!!
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