smudge clothing company.
guide to success with my weblog.
step one: read everything to the right of this module.
step two: click every number at the bottom of the screen.
step three: go back to step one.
repeat infinity times.
this is my personal assistant.
i managed to break this little nutang helper from his contract with nutang, and now he works for me. his name is jump-for-joya. he manages this site. all complaints and other inquiries should be directed to him.
he thanks you for your cooperation.
just in case you missed 'em...
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Sunday. 8.19.18 10:39 pm
My cat, Doc, died on Friday. He was ten. My wife and I were laying in the couch watching anime, and we heard a howl, unlike any Iíve heard before. We jumped up asking what was wrong, and he could not move. He howled again and again, then stopped. We yelled for him. I picked him up and cradled him, and saw the terrified look in his eyes. I felt his whole body quivering as I rocked back and forth telling my wife that I didnít understand what was happening. His shaking stopped and his eyes glazed over. ďHeís gone,Ē I yelled, still rocking, while my wife frantically tried calling emergency vets to figure out what to do. I tried to breathe air into him, but it didnít work. ďHeís gone,Ē I cried. Our other cat, Gus, sniffed Doc, but was also terrified, and he backed away into the other room.
We gently placed Doc into a carrier and drove to the emergency vet, crying our eyes out all the way. The vet confirmed that his heart had stopped, and stated that cats of this age sometimes have undetected heart disease and he could have had a blood clot.
Doc was the first pet I had that was mine. I picked him up when he was a kitten from a place I found via a penny saver ad. There were a few kittens there. He was standing next to his bowl full of food, and out of nowhere he slapped the bowl and sent the food flying everywhere. ďThatís the one.Ē I said.
He was a crazy cat. He loved running around outside when I lived with my dad. He took a while to warm up to Gus but became a great big brother to him in time. He loved running around our house.
Minutes before he passed, he was sprinting all around the house as if out of nowhere, and it reminded me of when he was a kitten. So crazy.
I love him and miss him terribly. I wasnít ready for him to go, but this shitty universe is beyond my understanding.
This year I lost my grandfather, my unborn child, and now Doc. I hate this year. I really fucking do.
Friday. 7.20.18 7:08 pm
Life has been stressful.
Over the last year, my wife and I decided we wanted to have a family.
Iím ready to be a dad. Iíve been ready.
Life doesnít always work out though. Iíve learned that the hard, literal way.
Now Iím just tired all the time. And in pain. I donít even know the right way to express how Iím feeling and what Iím thinking.
No one said life was fair. Iím not sure why I thought it would be.
My life isnít over by any means, Iím just fucking stressed out. On weekends when I used to wake up at 6 or 7 I find myself sleeping until 10 or 11. That canít be good. And even when I wake up earlier I canít bring myself to get out of bed. Iím working on that.
Thursday. 1.11.18 8:47 pm
Things are good.
The other day, I sneezed and threw out a muscle near my right rib cage that I didnít know existed. I guess this is growing up.
Iíve been training someone for my company the last two weeks, and today is my first day back in the field, investigating away. I was afraid Iíd forget how to do it because Iíve been doing nothing but looking over my traineeís shoulder since the day after Christmas.
I found a cool ramen place called Ejji. I ate there once a week the last three weeks, and am hoping to go back this weekend with the wife. Spread the noms.
How were your holidays?
Friday. 11.10.17 2:00 pm
i'm learning how to program unity 3d. my laptop can barely handle it because it's "old." old is in quotations because computer "old" and old have separate meanings. i feel like if i make anything too complex my laptop will explode or just shut down, emotionally.
i need some new music. i am not happy with what apple music recommends for me each friday, besides maybe one or two songs, normally those of which are by artists i already listen to. and why does the indie hits playlist always fill itself with 1000 songs that all sound exactly the same?
if anyone has any good music recommendations or wants to buy me a new laptop, drop a comment. the rest of you mean nothing to me. just kidding! or am i?
Monday. 10.23.17 6:08 pm
work is stressful. i keep telling myself that any job will have stress, but i can't stop myself from complaining about it in some form. is that normal?
i'm hungry. all the time. i hate that. i've tried over and over again to complete exercise programs, but i end up quitting close to the end due to injury or sickness. ugh.
there's been other stuff going on in my life, but i don't feel like blogging about it at the moment. maybe in a private post in another eight or nine months.
life could be worse, i guess.
here's me sending out good vibes to all you nutangians. wishing you all the best.
Friday. 1.20.17 6:34 pm
remember the last post i made?
i quit my job in october.
i found a new job where i make much more money.
i feel bad for my former co-workers, but... oh well. gotta look out for number one.
now i work from home a lot, which is awesome.
2017 is gonna be a good year. well, except for that whole president thing we have going on.
how are you guys?
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